Borogie, driven by a "restlessness and maternal instinct," traveled to Bakau to visit her daughter, Matou, who was in fosterage there. This profound feeling, a deep-seated maternal urge, compelled her to make the journey, overriding any hesitations. Upon arrival, Matou greeted her mother with politeness but maintained an emotional distance, responding briefly to her questions. Borogie expressed her desire to see Matou, stating, "I want to go and see Matou." She greeted Matou with, "My child. How are you?" to which Matou replied, "I am fine." This response, while outwardly polite, lacked the warmth Borogie yearned for. Borogie attempted to connect further, saying, "I came to greet you and see the child. And I brought small things from the garden," adding, "It is the last harvest from Jeshwang." Matou acknowledged the gesture with a simple "Thank you" before stating, "I have work inside." This abrupt departure left Borogie with a sense of unease. Borogie later remarked, "No. Some children remember everything," indicating an awareness of lingering issues despite the superficial politeness. She observed Matou's guarded eyes, stiff body, and a look Borogie interpreted as resentment or hatred, leading her to believe her daughter blamed her. This perception of blame added another layer of pain to the already strained reunion.
A Mother's Unsettled Instinct
Borogie traveled from Farato to Bakau to visit Matou, her heart heavy with a "restlessness and maternal instinct" that urged her to connect with her daughter. This powerful instinct was the primary motivator for her journey. She brought gifts from her garden in Jeshwang, a gesture of maternal care and provision. She carried the last generous harvest, which included a bounty of fresh produce: bitter tomatoes, garden eggs, okra, peppers, cassava leaves, cucumbers, groundnuts, early maize, and onions. These offerings represented her sustained effort and love. Borogie stated, "I came to greet you and see the child. And I brought small things from the garden," adding, "It is the last harvest from Jeshwang." Matou's daughter, Khadjel, remained in Jeshwang with Ousman Bah's second wife to attend school. Ousman Bah supported this decision, emphasizing the value of education, and once remarked, "If I had held a pen the way I held a broom, no one would have pushed me around like a stray goat." This statement showed his belief in the transformative power of learning. Borogie's daughter Nata was recovering at her parents' home in Farato following the loss of her third child, adding to the family's existing burdens and Borogie's emotional landscape. The article chronicling these events is titled 'Echoes Of Fuladu 3: Not All Adults Are Blind', a title that hints at deeper truths and unspoken realities.
The Visit and the Scar
Matou greeted her mother, Borogie, with a polite "Good afternoon," maintaining an emotional detachment despite the visit from Farato to Bakau. This politeness, devoid of genuine warmth, was palpable. When asked about her well-being, Matou responded, "I am fine." She also had a fresh scar visible on the side of her face. The scar resulted from a disciplinary incident where her foster mother "corrected her, but it went too far," according to a description of the event. This physical mark served as a stark reminder of the challenges Matou faced in fosterage. Borogie brought gifts from her garden in Jeshwang, a testament to her enduring care, to which Matou offered a simple "Thank you." This brief acknowledgment was the extent of her appreciation. Matou then stated, "I have work inside," before retreating, leaving Borogie to contend with the emotional void.
Mrs. Owens, Matou's foster mother, characterized the incident that led to the scar as a "small incident," downplaying its severity. Mrs. Owens further described the event as an act of "discipline," framing it within the context of child-rearing practices. Borogie observed Matou's politeness but also noted the underlying emotional distance, later remarking, "No. Some children remember everything." This comment suggested an awareness of deeper issues despite Matou's outwardly composed demeanor during the visit. The scar on Matou's face, a visible manifestation of her experience, deeply affected Borogie, who felt a profound sense of helplessness. Borogie's observation of Matou's guarded eyes, stiff body, and a look she interpreted as resentment or hatred, reinforced her belief that her daughter blamed her for her current circumstances. This unspoken accusation added to Borogie's maternal pain.
Complexities of Fosterage
Borogie, Matou's mother, expressed a feeling of constraint regarding the custom of fosterage, which limited her ability to intervene in Matou's upbringing once she had been given into the care of others. This sentiment was encapsulated by the Wolof saying, 'you cannot give away the head and pull out the tongue at the same time,' implying that once a child is fostered, the biological parent's direct influence is diminished. This cultural understanding weighed heavily on Borogie, creating a dilemma between tradition and her maternal instincts. During her visit to Bakau, Borogie stated, "I came to greet you and see the child. And I brought small things from the garden," adding, "It is the last harvest from Jeshwang." Despite this gesture, Borogie later articulated her distress by stating, "I gave you my child, not a goat to be tied and beaten," in reference to Matou's scar. This powerful metaphor conveyed her anguish and the perceived injustice of the situation. When Matou responded with "I have work inside" after receiving the gifts, Borogie told Aunty Bae, "Leave her. Let her be." She then added, "She is growing," attempting to rationalize Matou's behavior, and later observed, "No. Some children remember everything," suggesting an awareness of Matou's lingering emotional state. Borogie's reflection on Matou's guarded eyes, stiff body, and a look she interpreted as resentment or hatred, solidified her belief that her daughter blamed her for the circumstances that led to the scar and her fosterage.
Aunty Bae, present at the compound during Borogie's visit, explicitly categorized Matou's behavior as a disciplinary issue. When Borogie inquired, "What happened here?" regarding Matou's fresh scar, Aunty Bae responded, "It was discipline. These children nowadays do not know respect." This immediate justification noted a prevailing attitude towards child-rearing. Aunty Bae also commented on Matou's general demeanor, stating, "This girl. Always behaving as if the world must beg her." This observation painted Matou as defiant or ungrateful in Aunty Bae's eyes. After Matou retreated inside, Aunty Bae remarked, "You see? After all this woman carried for you," referring to Borogie's gifts, implying Matou's ingratitude. Aunty Bae also acknowledged the quality of the produce Borogie brought, noting, "Hmm. These are good. Real garden food. Not those tired things from market." This brief moment of appreciation for the harvest stood in contrast to her critique of Matou. She further added, "Children forget quickly," in response to Borogie's observations about Matou, dismissing the idea of lasting emotional scars. Matou's foster mother, Mrs. Owens, also described the incident that resulted in the scar as a "small incident," and merely an act of "discipline," aligning with Aunty Bae's perspective and further minimizing the impact on Matou. This collective downplaying of the incident by the adults around Matou further isolated Borogie in her concern.
Enduring Maternal Pain
Borogie observed Matou's guarded eyes, stiff body, and a look Borogie interpreted as resentment or hatred, leading her to believe her daughter blamed her. This belief was a source of profound maternal pain. Despite Matou's polite "Good afternoon," and response of "I am fine" to Borogie's "My child. How are you?" Borogie reflected on the encounter, sensing the emotional chasm between them. Borogie had stated, "I want to go and see Matou," driven by a powerful "restlessness and maternal instinct." Upon arrival, she had said, "I came to greet you and see the child. And I brought small things from the garden," adding, "It is the last harvest from Jeshwang." These small things included bitter tomatoes, garden eggs, okra, peppers, cassava leaves, cucumbers, groundnuts, early maize, and onions, a tangible expression of her love and effort. Matou's reply of "Thank you" before stating, "I have work inside," did not alleviate Borogie's concerns; instead, it deepened her sense of unease. Borogie later remarked, "No. Some children remember everything," suggesting an awareness of Matou's lingering emotional state despite her outward composure. This observation showed Borogie's understanding that the politeness was a facade. Borogie also articulated her distress by stating, "I gave you my child, not a goat to be tied and beaten," in reference to Matou's scar, a raw expression of her anguish over the physical harm inflicted upon her daughter. The custom of fosterage, which Borogie felt constrained by, echoed in her mind, reminding her of the Wolof saying: 'you cannot give away the head and pull out the tongue at the same time,' a bitter truth that limited her ability to protect Matou. The emotional distance Matou maintained, her brief and unfeeling responses, and the visible scar all contributed to Borogie's enduring maternal pain, leaving her with the heavy burden of unspoken blame and unresolved sorrow.
